• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
  • When chemists die, they barium.
  • Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
  • I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
  • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
  • I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  • They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
  • We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
  • Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
  • Broken pencils are pointless.
  • I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  • I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
  • All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
  • I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
  • Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
  • A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
  • The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
  • Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Source: rougemarionette
  1. southern-cumfart reblogged this from hondacivicef9
  2. firesorednightsoblack reblogged this from afirewiel
  3. random-kitty15 reblogged this from perrybearwaks
  4. shinyexplosives reblogged this from beatri-z
  5. flukedavis reblogged this from smilewhenlifeishard
  6. smilewhenlifeishard reblogged this from antdecandmcflylover
  7. wenxue-he-xiezuo reblogged this from specialkei
  8. invisibleraven reblogged this from rippleklainebagels
  9. heyitslizziex reblogged this from antdecandmcflylover
  10. nuggetlovesyou reblogged this from hondacivicef9
  11. specialkei reblogged this from wongstuhhh
  12. wongstuhhh reblogged this from hondacivicef9
  13. hondacivicef9 reblogged this from calling-allcars
  14. antdecandmcflylover reblogged this from gleeful-kryptonite
  15. calling-allcars reblogged this from adashofirrelevance
  16. 5implycomplicated reblogged this from caitsmile
  17. cashew-nuts-and-cream reblogged this from transparent-snail
  18. fenyasimaginarium reblogged this from perrybearwaks
  19. wechoosewhatwelosefor reblogged this from frolicking-in-snow
  20. frolicking-in-snow reblogged this from dragonhunterss
  21. afirewiel reblogged this from gnellster
  22. dragonhunterss reblogged this from perrybearwaks
  23. my-lions-blood reblogged this from we-could-be--heroes
  24. hsiehkyobootie reblogged this from cicix
  25. we-could-be--heroes reblogged this from razorbladesandlighters
  26. heyyitsshannon reblogged this from rippleklainebagels
  27. 1de3bradfordbabe reblogged this from hazloveshisboo
  28. catlamccat reblogged this from zozopermafrost
  29. raindrops-in-rainstorms reblogged this from transparent-snail